Remeber How You Became To Be "A Derby Girl"? by Pegapuss 249

Pegapuss here, getting ready for our first 2012 bout against Greenville, only six days away! As we’ve approached this new year I have come to realize just how much change we have endured as a team within the last year and how incredibly far we have come. Nearly a year and a half ago is when I started skating with the Regulators. In fact, its when I started skating entirely. People always ask me, “How did you get started with ‘the derby’ anyway?” I was a waitress at a steakhouse where I was waiting on a group of Publix employees. I overheard one of the ladies, Big Hitties (Teresa Reid), at the table telling her co-worker how she got involved. Being the nosey girl that I am, I asked her what in the heck roller derby was. She invited me that very night to a “fresh meat” practice. I of course came and I could not skate at all. So embarrassed to fall down, I fell at least 30 times. I am one of those people that tries everything at least once, usually just once, because I almost always give up. I’ve tried playing guitar, violin, drums, soccer, basketball, painting, but with roller derby its always been different. I have never had to urge to quit, but always the eagerness to learn more, as much as I can. Roller derby entails more than any sport imaginable, from the 70 some pages of rules printed off of the internet to the sisterhood we grow stronger in each day. There is something about this sport that lures people in, and there is something about the Regulators that leads people further.

Derby is a lifestyle. The practice that you need to make a roster means giving up a lot and giving a lot more of yourself than to any other sport you probably ever would have given. Every woman’s journey in this sport is a different one. We all come from different places, we are all such different people, but we all have one love, the sport of roller derby.

This year I hope that we can recruit more women and expand the love of roller derby around our city. Derby is growing worldwide and I believe its growth in 2012 is going to be bigger than ever. If you’re reading this blog and you’re interested in this sport I suggest you come see what it is like. There is no one too small or too weak for derby. Give it a try, it’s like a drug, but a good one that makes your butt hot and thighs tight. Good luck this year Regulators, we are going to kill it! I feel it. BIP!

Helping Harvest Hope by Poisonberry Shortcake H8FL

The stockpile really got started when I got some free boxes of pasta using a sale at a local grocery store and some printable coupons from the internet. I'd been using coupons for years to save myself money, and I realized that if I could get the entire team to print and collect coupons we could amass a large stockpile to donate for very little money. Everyone got behind the idea, and we were off! Each week I scoured the internet, matching sales with coupons to find items for free or next to nothing, and every few practices I would collect pocket change. The pile grew each week, 150 cans of pasta here, 5 tubes of toothpaste there, and quickly started taking up serious real estate in my living room. Some of the girls went with me on shopping trips and got really into watching the price drop at the register. Lots of Regulators learned how to cut their own grocery bills along the way. Between the deals, the diligent cooperation and generous donations, our stockpile included canned goods, boxed meals, jars of pasta sauce, pasta, peanut butter, dish soap, laundry detergent, toothpaste, and bottled water. At full retail, it would have cost approximately $3000 to buy all of these things, but we paid only $250. On November 30th we loaded up my truck, completely lowering the suspension and filling the bed and passenger seat to the brim. We drove it down to Harvest Hope's Share Your Holiday food drive at the First Baptist Church downtown where we filled an entire pallet! This was, for me, the most exciting and rewarding charitable donation our team has ever made. It was wonderful to see what a tangible, meaningful impact The Regulators can have when we pull together. Next year I want to fill TWO trucks, and I'm certain we can do it!

Wearing Tights Doesn't Make You a Superhero by Halle BuryHer 6FT

Finally passed assessments, showed you can handle the track, take and give some hits, even made a name for yourself at a few scrimmages…now you’re ready. That’s right, bout time!! <Crack!!> What the… You have got to be kidding me!! I’m hurt? I’m a derby girl. Pain is par for course, right? Shake it off. I got this… couple of pain pills, ice and rest, I’ll be alright. We have to skate on Sunday. Hear whispers “dam she’s hard core”. Yeah, I’m tough. Get knocked down and get back up. But I got to take it easy, so I tell the coach I’m going to warm up slowly, but I’m good to play “You know me, I’m a tough little cookie”. Pop more pain pills and get the EMT to wrap whichever body part I’ve hurt this time. I can’t let my girls down. I have to do my part. That’s the rotation, hurt something, skate on it anyway and finally have to sit out to recover because my body can’t take anymore. Great way to be, right…? No, it’s not.

I’ve sat out more times than I’ve played. Why? I’m not completely recovered when I get back on skates. Why? My Daddy didn’t raise no punk! I think I’m being a good teammate and player by my actions and I’m stubborn. But in all honesty, I’m hurting my team. Being only 50% during a bout is not helping them. I’m just a body taking up space on the bench. I’m giving my all mentally and emotionally; but I’m not able to do so physically. That is what my team really needs. So sure I come back multiple times, only to get hurt multiple times.  I don’t want them to think I’m punking out or thinking I’m soft or I’m not cut out for/have what it takes to play derby. But, I also don’t want to be that chick where you hear, “She’s always hurt”. Yeah those thoughts are my kryptonite. I feel invincible when I’m on the floor and limping on the sidelines feels like my powers have been taken away. I’m helpless, like Superman after the anti-chamber. But Superman had to keep fighting because there wasn’t anyone else as a fall back. I don’t have that problem. So as of this moment, I’m going to take my time and fully recover. Instead of continuing my degree in hurt-inomics of roller derby…okay, I’m going to TRY. Hey! Cut me some slack… can’t change overnight.

P.H.A (perpetually hurt always)
Halle BuryHer

First Bout by Toxic Kimical LD50

I feel hot and sweaty. I may even vomit. My whole body is shaking and my stomach hurts. No it's not a virus, its my first bout!

The armory is packed with fans, friends ,family and fellow teammates. Our intro song is about to come on and I don't know if I can do this. "You can do this, quit being silly!" my inner voice chastises me. The song comes on and we roll onto the track decked out in derby gear as well as bandanas and gold painted toy guns for our intro. The announcer calls us out one by one, finally he calls my name and number. I make my lap around the track. "See you, didn't fall," inside voice interjects. Finally the preliminaries are over; "Showtime," inner-voice sings.

The coaches call the first lineup "Whew, dodged that bullet." 2nd lineup... Ummm, did the coach just say crazy girl with voice in her head jamming 2nd?! "Oh, stop being a wienie, this is what you've been training for!" inner-voice scolds me again. Ok, it's the 2nd jam and I'm on the jammer line. When the jammer whistle blows I feel like I've got lead in my skates. "Focus. Focus. You CAN do this!" inner-voice shouts. I do not get lead jammer ("Darn"), but I do score a few points ("Yay me")! After what seems like an eternity jam is over. "It was so not an eternity, according to rules a jam can only last a maximum of two minutes," smarty-pants inner-voice says.

A few minutes later the crowd slowly fades into the background as I loosen up and get my head in the game. I can do this; it's just like practice or a scrimmage only with lots more people and fans and an announcer and people watching... "Slow it down, Crazy, and get it back together," inner-voice warns.  Ok, jamming again. "No ma'am, not today!" inner-voice barks as I narrowly juke by an opposing blocker. With each passing jam I loosen up a little more and start enjoying myself. I'm really getting into the game. Awesome! "What's this?" inner-voice is now perplexed because I am doing a little dance on the jammer line as fellow teammates and fans cheer me on. "Talk about a total turn around."

Fast forward through several more jams and inner-voice starts to whine, "How much longer? I'm exhausted." So I take a quick look at the score board. "Wow is that the score?" Not important I bark at inner-voice; whats important is we have less than 4 minures left in the game! "Yippee!" Ok, time for the last jam and who is lead jammer? This chick! "No need to get cocky!" inner-voice reminds me. "Ok, ok." I agree. One last pass through the pack and I call it off just as an opposing blocker slams into me. The game is over and I'm glad. We won, but more importantly I survived... I survived pre-bout jitters, being knocked down a time or two ('more than two"), going to the penalty box ("twice") and making it through without vomiting on the track. 

It was a blast and an experience I will never forget. "Told you you could do it," inner-voice says. Ok, so next maybe I won't be so nervous and I will listen to my inner-voice. "I hope so, 'cause I'm usually right." inner-voice says smugly. What a smart-aleck!

Mid-Summer Fresh Meat by Liz (Skatetheist 060D)

I’d just had a baby 6 months ago and after returning to work I was, let’s just say, in a bit of a funk.  My husband had been telling me for weeks that I should find a hobby for myself but I didn’t think I had time for ANYTHING extra in my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my guys more than anything in the world (besides the husband and the baby, we have a 7 year old son).  But as any working, nursing mom will tell you, it’s exhausting! 

Somehow though, I got roller derby in my head.  I don’t know if it was the news story I’d seen a month or so prior about an unassuming local woman who by day quietly works in an office, but by night becomes a screaming banshee on wheels, or seeing the movie “Whip It” some weeks before, but it was on my mind.  I checked out the Regulators website and they seemed pretty tough, but everything about what I read was inviting, so I clicked the “contact us” link and asked a few questions.  The reply I received gave me no reason to try to back out.  It was even more inviting and informative than the website had been.  So one hot, muggy, mid-June evening I decided it was time to give it a shot.  I showed up where I’d been told the team practices, a ratty looking, un-air conditioned warehouse with dirty mattresses lining the walls in what some would call a questionable neighborhood.  I venture to guess that might be enough to turn some girls away right there, but it didn’t bother me much.  I try not to judge a book by its cover but still, air conditioning would’ve been nice!

Wow!  That first practice was intense.  The ladies on the team seemed happy to have “fresh meat” at practice and were genuinely helpful and patient.  I needed all of that I could get, believe me!  I hadn’t roller skated much since I was in middle school so just getting used to that was a job.  I was so out of shape it was ridiculous and I spent most of the first hour of my time there huffing and puffing.  I sat out about the last 10 minutes because I just couldn’t physically muster the energy I would need to keep going.  This was more work than I’d done in a LONG time and though I was ashamed of myself for quitting before practice was over, I would’ve been more embarrassed if I’d passed out or puked all over the floor, so I stand by my decision. 

Despite feeling like I was going to die, that first practice was all it took to get me hooked.  Since then I’ve gone to as many practices as I can and I’m pretty proud of the fact that I haven’t quit early again.  It’s been a month and a half now and just last night I completed my “25 in 5” (all skaters have to skate 25 laps around the track in 5 minutes or less as part of the required assessments) and tomorrow I will attempt the rest of the assessments.  Each practice I attend I become more and more attached to this sport and the people with whom I train.  I can’t wait to pass assessments and really get out there and regulate! 

Regulators’ Bad Co. Take On Alabama’s Deadutantes by Dash Brand-A-Hooch

This Saturday, April 23rd, marks a moment in history.  This Saturday at 6:00 p.m. the Richland County Regulators’ Bad Company will be skating in their first headlining home bout.  The girls of Bad Co. have been working hard and are greatly looking forward to skating against the River Region Rollergirls’ Deadutantes of Alabama.  For some of the girls this will be their first bout as Regulators; Bad Co. is excited to see Bal-listic, Purple Reign of Terror, and Dash Brand-a-Hooch join their line-up!  Some of your favorite Regulator ladies will also be skating with Bad Co. on Saturday like Babe Marley, Hursula, and Fanged Banger.  Do not miss this bout!

Not only will this event be featuring talented skaters playing one of the fastest growing sports in the nation, but spectators will also have an opportunity to participate in a children’s or adult Easter Egg Hung during halftime with prizes including merchandise, candy, and other surprises.  In addition to the excitement of the bout and the Egg Hunt, Shawn-Dell Corley, head coach of the Regulators, will be coaching in a dress!  This is going to be quite the show. Do not miss this momentous occasion as Bad Co. takes on the Deadutantes. Doors open at 5:00 p.m. and the first whistle will be at 6:00 p.m.  Come early to get a good seat.  Tickets are available through your favorite Regulator derby girl and are $10.00 in advance and $13.00 at the door.  Proceeds of this bout will benefit the Ronald McDonald House of Columbia. 

Dominion Rings in 2011 by Jean Gravy

2011 is going to be our toughest yet, and what better way to start it off then against our first WFTDA team, the Dominion Derby Girls in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Dominion proved to be our hardest fought battle against girls with great footwork, speed, and incredible hits. Early Sunday morning, we all piled into the van for our trip to Virginia, and while we missed a few Regulators, we had a strong team headed out. Bad Co. loaned us Big Hitties, who proved to be ready for the challenge. She kept up, and laid some mean hits on Dominion’s jammers. Dippin Dot scored the most points for the Regulators, and Eye Candy Story was a big help in making her a path through the pack. The Dominion girls whooped our butts 241-86! So its back to practice for us girls, and you better believe we walked away with some good lessons! If you are ready to see stronger competition, just get ready for 2011! The Regulators and Bad Co. have a packed schedule this year and are competing against stonger teams, working with some incredible charities, and promising you some awesome derby! Mount up! Guns up!