I feel hot and sweaty. I may even vomit. My whole body is shaking and my stomach hurts. No it's not a virus, its my first bout! The armory is packed with fans, friends ,family and fellow teammates. Our intro song is about to come on and I don't know if I can do this. "You can do this, quit being silly!" my inner voice chastises me. The song comes on and we roll onto the track decked out in derby gear as well as bandanas and gold painted toy guns for our intro. The announcer calls us out one by one, finally he calls my name and number. I make my lap around the track. "See you, didn't fall," inside voice interjects. Finally the preliminaries are over; "Showtime," inner-voice sings. The coaches call the first lineup "Whew, dodged that bullet." 2nd lineup... Ummm, did the coach just say crazy girl with voice in her head jamming 2nd?! "Oh, stop being a wienie, this is what you've been training for!" inner-voice scolds me again. Ok, it's the 2nd jam and I'm on the jammer line. When the jammer whistle blows I feel like I've got lead in my skates. "Focus. Focus. You CAN do this!" inner-voice shouts. I do not get lead jammer ("Darn"), but I do score a few points ("Yay me")! After what seems like an eternity jam is over. "It was so not an eternity, according to rules a jam can only last a maximum of two minutes," smarty-pants inner-voice says. A few minutes later the crowd slowly fades into the background as I loosen up and get my head in the game. I can do this; it's just like practice or a scrimmage only with lots more people and fans and an announcer and people watching... "Slow it down, Crazy, and get it back together," inner-voice warns.  Ok, jamming again. "No ma'am, not today!" inner-voice barks as I narrowly juke by an opposing blocker. With each passing jam I loosen up a little more and start enjoying myself. I'm really getting into the game. Awesome! "What's this?" inner-voice is now perplexed because I am doing a little dance on the jammer line as fellow teammates and fans cheer me on. "Talk about a total turn around." Fast forward through several more jams and inner-voice starts to whine, "How much longer? I'm exhausted." So I take a quick look at the score board. "Wow is that the score?" Not important I bark at inner-voice; whats important is we have less than 4 minures left in the game! "Yippee!" Ok, time for the last jam and who is lead jammer? This chick! "No need to get cocky!" inner-voice reminds me. "Ok, ok." I agree. One last pass through the pack and I call it off just as an opposing blocker slams into me. The game is over and I'm glad. We won, but more importantly I survived... I survived pre-bout jitters, being knocked down a time or two ('more than two"), going to the penalty box ("twice") and making it through without vomiting on the track.  It was a blast and an experience I will never forget. "Told you you could do it," inner-voice says. Ok, so next maybe I won't be so nervous and I will listen to my inner-voice. "I hope so, 'cause I'm usually right." inner-voice says smugly. What a smart-aleck!