nevermind the makeup, clothing, monikers…this isn’t staged. no choreography. this is as authentic a sport as there ever was. & the heart & soul involved is out of this world amazing! from hard core practices (ranging from 6-8 hours a week or more…year round) to monthly bouts (at home or drive a few to several hours…hurt so good for days) to extra-derby! to meetings to fundraisers to community awareness! i mean, when does a girl get to wash those stinky pads? (*grin) did i mention the outside world as well? jobs, school, family, children…really. these women can just do it all. (i never felt so organized & in charge...in my life!)

but, what i would learn (personally) throughout this whole experience would be more than i anticipated; a new family, self-worth, & confidence. insane warm fuzzies wrapped in sweat times 10. can i do absolutely anything that i put my passion to? yes, yes…i most certainly can! roller derby showed me that. & i was no gretzky meets tyson either. i definitely lived up to my (ahem) self given name “bruise” (short for bruisella)…the hell was i thinking? killer…always killer, or kill-her! *shake my head & laugh! but every KO & back at ‘em proved that i was so much stronger than i’d ever given myself credit. & what a rush!

*plus, the ladies that i work with at the library would always ask how it was going, want to see my bruises (they were plentiful & hey, i earned those bad boys), & always brought me magazine or newspaper clippings related to anything derby! (it was sweet support from a random place.)

so many personalities, backgrounds, ages, etc. all mashed into this one core team of awesomeness. whether you’re “a hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer…come in! come in!” no prerequisites were required! & these girls…these girls are the best that i’ve ever known. they do not waste time with fancy pretenses. they are about as real as they come. “island of misfit toys,” i used to kid. & it worked. it worked because we were all striving towards the same goal…together…as a team. it was magical! the sorority that i always wanted to join, but never existed in my world before then.

i love these women that i called sisters (& still do, if they’ll have this retired gal)…sisters after my own heart…my team! but most of all, i love the time of my life spent with them. who had my back on & off the track. who lovingly screamed "shut the eff up!" when i started to doubt myself. who helped with my damned butterflies before each bout. who loaned me extra deodorant before the after party (but no chapstick…ha). who put a makeshift ice pack on my ass & laughed with me through the pain. all goodness, wonderful memories for me, & i think about it every single day! it truly was an honor!

you have no idea how glad i am that i went with my gut, pulled my big girl panties on, & followed a crazy (unknown) journey like i did. i haven’t been the same since. empowering, to say the least. 

so, have you witnessed roller derby yet? or played? i encourage everyone i meet to play, even though they look at me like “yea, whatever” or “i could never do that!” hey, if i could do it, i think anybody can…coordination, remember?! just ask yourself, “do i have heart?” if yes, then go for it. if it’s something you wanted to try, but weren’t sure, start with baby steps…find a fresh meat practice to roll around in or an open practice to observe or watch from the crowd at a bout (or all the above). you’ll always wonder if you don’t…i know that i would have. don’t let others discourage you from seeing for yourself, either. ps…i have faith in you!

**my team, the richland county regulators http://www.richlandcountyregulators.com/ host their next home bout against the brrg french broads (from asheville, nc) on march 24^th. it’s definitely something you need to check out if you haven’t already…go ahead & buy your tickets now! i’m opening up a whole new addiction for you…just saying. ooh, & before i forget, there’s a men’s team, too…carolina wreckingballs!! (you’re so gonna thank me!) but, wait, there’s more…there is yet another team in the columbia area http://www.columbiaquadsquad.com/! pack those houses, people! buy those tickets! support local roller derby!

&, if you’re not in this area…no fretting! i bet if you google roller derby teams (where you live), right now (go do it), you’re gonna find a team right around the corner. trust me, it’s like that. you are bound to find a bout coming near you! (i can think of 8 teams in south carolina alone, right off the top of my head) seriously…you’re gonna be reformed!

*don’t forget the kids (family oriented sport), your merch monies for that tee/koozie/whatevers of your new fave team! or better yet, make it a “date night!” there’s also sips & noms…because, after all, it is a sport!! treat it as such…sit back (actually, you won’t want to sit) & enjoy!

You can visit Bruise's blog here: http://miscellaneash.blogspot.com

Derby is a lifestyle. The practice that you need to make a roster means giving up a lot and giving a lot more of yourself than to any other sport you probably ever would have given. Every woman’s journey in this sport is a different one. We all come from different places, we are all such different people, but we all have one love, the sport of roller derby.

This year I hope that we can recruit more women and expand the love of roller derby around our city. Derby is growing worldwide and I believe its growth in 2012 is going to be bigger than ever. If you’re reading this blog and you’re interested in this sport I suggest you come see what it is like. There is no one too small or too weak for derby. Give it a try, it’s like a drug, but a good one that makes your butt hot and thighs tight. Good luck this year Regulators, we are going to kill it! I feel it. BIP!

I’ve sat out more times than I’ve played. Why? I’m not completely recovered when I get back on skates. Why? My Daddy didn’t raise no punk! I think I’m being a good teammate and player by my actions and I’m stubborn. But in all honesty, I’m hurting my team. Being only 50% during a bout is not helping them. I’m just a body taking up space on the bench. I’m giving my all mentally and emotionally; but I’m not able to do so physically. That is what my team really needs. So sure I come back multiple times, only to get hurt multiple times.  I don’t want them to think I’m punking out or thinking I’m soft or I’m not cut out for/have what it takes to play derby. But, I also don’t want to be that chick where you hear, “She’s always hurt”. Yeah those thoughts are my kryptonite. I feel invincible when I’m on the floor and limping on the sidelines feels like my powers have been taken away. I’m helpless, like Superman after the anti-chamber. But Superman had to keep fighting because there wasn’t anyone else as a fall back. I don’t have that problem. So as of this moment, I’m going to take my time and fully recover. Instead of continuing my degree in hurt-inomics of roller derby…okay, I’m going to TRY. Hey! Cut me some slack… can’t change overnight.

P.H.A (perpetually hurt always)
Halle BuryHer

The armory is packed with fans, friends ,family and fellow teammates. Our intro song is about to come on and I don't know if I can do this. "You can do this, quit being silly!" my inner voice chastises me. The song comes on and we roll onto the track decked out in derby gear as well as bandanas and gold painted toy guns for our intro. The announcer calls us out one by one, finally he calls my name and number. I make my lap around the track. "See you, didn't fall," inside voice interjects. Finally the preliminaries are over; "Showtime," inner-voice sings.

The coaches call the first lineup "Whew, dodged that bullet." 2nd lineup... Ummm, did the coach just say crazy girl with voice in her head jamming 2nd?! "Oh, stop being a wienie, this is what you've been training for!" inner-voice scolds me again. Ok, it's the 2nd jam and I'm on the jammer line. When the jammer whistle blows I feel like I've got lead in my skates. "Focus. Focus. You CAN do this!" inner-voice shouts. I do not get lead jammer ("Darn"), but I do score a few points ("Yay me")! After what seems like an eternity jam is over. "It was so not an eternity, according to rules a jam can only last a maximum of two minutes," smarty-pants inner-voice says.

A few minutes later the crowd slowly fades into the background as I loosen up and get my head in the game. I can do this; it's just like practice or a scrimmage only with lots more people and fans and an announcer and people watching... "Slow it down, Crazy, and get it back together," inner-voice warns.  Ok, jamming again. "No ma'am, not today!" inner-voice barks as I narrowly juke by an opposing blocker. With each passing jam I loosen up a little more and start enjoying myself. I'm really getting into the game. Awesome! "What's this?" inner-voice is now perplexed because I am doing a little dance on the jammer line as fellow teammates and fans cheer me on. "Talk about a total turn around."

Fast forward through several more jams and inner-voice starts to whine, "How much longer? I'm exhausted." So I take a quick look at the score board. "Wow is that the score?" Not important I bark at inner-voice; whats important is we have less than 4 minures left in the game! "Yippee!" Ok, time for the last jam and who is lead jammer? This chick! "No need to get cocky!" inner-voice reminds me. "Ok, ok." I agree. One last pass through the pack and I call it off just as an opposing blocker slams into me. The game is over and I'm glad. We won, but more importantly I survived... I survived pre-bout jitters, being knocked down a time or two ('more than two"), going to the penalty box ("twice") and making it through without vomiting on the track. 

It was a blast and an experience I will never forget. "Told you you could do it," inner-voice says. Ok, so next maybe I won't be so nervous and I will listen to my inner-voice. "I hope so, 'cause I'm usually right." inner-voice says smugly. What a smart-aleck!

Somehow though, I got roller derby in my head.  I don’t know if it was the news story I’d seen a month or so prior about an unassuming local woman who by day quietly works in an office, but by night becomes a screaming banshee on wheels, or seeing the movie “Whip It” some weeks before, but it was on my mind.  I checked out the Regulators website and they seemed pretty tough, but everything about what I read was inviting, so I clicked the “contact us” link and asked a few questions.  The reply I received gave me no reason to try to back out.  It was even more inviting and informative than the website had been.  So one hot, muggy, mid-June evening I decided it was time to give it a shot.  I showed up where I’d been told the team practices, a ratty looking, un-air conditioned warehouse with dirty mattresses lining the walls in what some would call a questionable neighborhood.  I venture to guess that might be enough to turn some girls away right there, but it didn’t bother me much.  I try not to judge a book by its cover but still, air conditioning would’ve been nice!

Wow!  That first practice was intense.  The ladies on the team seemed happy to have “fresh meat” at practice and were genuinely helpful and patient.  I needed all of that I could get, believe me!  I hadn’t roller skated much since I was in middle school so just getting used to that was a job.  I was so out of shape it was ridiculous and I spent most of the first hour of my time there huffing and puffing.  I sat out about the last 10 minutes because I just couldn’t physically muster the energy I would need to keep going.  This was more work than I’d done in a LONG time and though I was ashamed of myself for quitting before practice was over, I would’ve been more embarrassed if I’d passed out or puked all over the floor, so I stand by my decision. 

Despite feeling like I was going to die, that first practice was all it took to get me hooked.  Since then I’ve gone to as many practices as I can and I’m pretty proud of the fact that I haven’t quit early again.  It’s been a month and a half now and just last night I completed my “25 in 5” (all skaters have to skate 25 laps around the track in 5 minutes or less as part of the required assessments) and tomorrow I will attempt the rest of the assessments.  Each practice I attend I become more and more attached to this sport and the people with whom I train.  I can’t wait to pass assessments and really get out there and regulate!